Shelter from the storm
Julie likens the impact of family violence to that of a natural disaster.
“Just as a natural disaster can cause sudden and overwhelming destruction, family violence can shatter the foundation of what should be a safe and nurturing environment,” she says.
Julie’s journey out of the storm led her to start a volunteer-run support group, Underneath My Umbrella, for other women “on the recovery journey”.
“We go to where the women are, whether it’s in libraries, community centres, shopping centres or different places that we can get access to,” she says. “We’ll be there as a shopfront for someone who’s not feeling so great, to drop in and connect no matter where they are on their journey.”
The group is supported by Council, which has identified preventing and responding to family violence as a priority.
For over 20 years, Knox has had the highest rate of family violence in Melbourne’s outer east, and this has steadily increased for the past five years.
Julie says her group supports other women to realise and restore their value.
“Any woman coming out of that situation, including myself, just feels so worthless; you feel so powerless,” she says. “I liken it to a natural disaster — the impact that a natural disaster has on people, on their families, on communities. The rebuild that comes after that is quite significant and it is quite long. After a storm event, the community comes together to provide support and rebuild. The same effort is needed in the aftermath of family violence.”
Council has received $212,500 funding from the Department of Families, Fairness and Housing for initiatives to prevent family violence.
More than a fifth of crimes in Knox relate to family violence, with 1,970 incidents reported to police in 2022–23. Ninety-five people in our community were treated in hospital emergency departments because of family violence.
“The statistics are all about the physical violence or the death of a woman and unfortunately there’s so much more that’s not revealed, such as the sexual or financial abuse or psychological control that doesn’t get captured,” Julie says.
“Family violence can be physical but the bruising is also on the inside. It’s doing damage to your self esteem, self worth and overall emotional and mental wellbeing.
“For someone who’s going through family violence, there’s trauma throughout the whole family. There’s the ripple effect as your close family and relatives start to hear and know what’s gone on, where they didn’t have any idea before because of the silence we live under.”
Julie is among those lifting the veil of silence by sharing her story and encouraging other women to do so.
“It took a long time to believe that I deserved better, that it wasn’t just me or my fault,” she says. “Getting out of the relationship, it probably took a few years to actually get up the courage to go: ‘This is enough, I need to get out.’ I found supportive people who were able to help me take the best steps for me at that time.”
These days, Julie says life is “amazingly good”.
“I think I’ve taken a long time just getting to know who I am as a woman, as an individual, enjoying single life,” she says. “I’m seeing my children change and seeing the difference that being out of that situation has made to them.
“If you’re still in that situation, reach out, find someone. I’d say to other women: Find someone who will listen, and share your truth — or come and sit ‘Underneath My Umbrella’.”
Council is hosting the 3Rs of Family Violence workshop for the broader community, to increase people’s understanding of family violence and how to respond if someone shares that they are experiencing family violence.
It’s on Wednesday 30 October from 6.30pm–9.30pm at the Knox Civic Centre. Learn how you can play an active role in challenging community attitudes that drive gender inequality and family violence in Australia. Register via knox.vic.gov.au
If you or someone you know is experiencing family violence, call 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732.
In an emergency, call 000.
Photo: Julie is offering other women support through her group, Underneath My Umbrella.
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